is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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