Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
