I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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