Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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