there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
