"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
