We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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