Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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