Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
