New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize