yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize