If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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