Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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