Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
