Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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