We're facebook friends in real life
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
