Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
