i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
