She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
