Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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