he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
