ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
