That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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