how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
