"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
