Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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