Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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