I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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