the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
