so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
