After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
