dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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