The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
