im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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