and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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