did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
