I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
