I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
