Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
