butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
