And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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