Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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