why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
