i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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