he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
