do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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