Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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