i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize