i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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