We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
