so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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