I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
