got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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