Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
