I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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