You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
