Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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