Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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