i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
COCAINE IS GR8
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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