Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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