Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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