some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i now understand why vodka
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
