i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
