grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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