She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize